The Twilight Bathroom Zone

I've got to share this story cause I just can't believe it happened. The office building in which I work has many offices and thus one "community" bathroom. The bathrooms are just weird at this place. How can bathrooms be weird? Well first off, the main bathroom door is locked. I hate it, because if I forget my key, I have to trudge back to my office which is a mere 10 yards away. Ok, so just a minor inconvenience. (Side note: the lock broke recently, so just push open the door and your in; I like the main lock being broken).

The lighting is not just a switch but a timer, so you have to turn the knob for how many minutes you think you will be in the bathroom which controls 2 of the 3 stalls in the bathroom but not the third. That one has its own timer/light switch. I can't tell you how many times, I didn't check the timer, and have been in a stall when the lights went out. Another minor inconvenience....luckily there is one skylight. On top of that, there seems to be flushing issues with all the toilets and it usually occurs all at the same time. The women in this office complex are messy. Ugh. There is typically toilet paper everywhere and paper towels littering the floor and toilets clogged. I have actually walked out of the bathroom several times and decided to "wait" until I get home...another inconvenience (nothing major yet). In these extreme cases, Management "converts" the men's bathroom into a unisex bathroom by posting a handwritten sign over the men's sign. Nice! Thank God, I haven't had to resort to using the men's room yet.

Now for my bathroom story. There are 3 stalls in the women's restroom, all are which are fully drywalled with full doors; in other words, you can't tell if someone is in a particular stall unless the door is open. Earlier this week, I went in a stall #2, closed the door and locked it. The next thing you know, a lady opens it up on me. She doesn't say she is sorry, just yells out in surprise and mortification. Yes, I DID lock the door but for some reason the door wasn't all the way engaged (but it looked like it). Mind you, there are two other stalls with at least one of the doors wide open...why didn't she go into that stall? For some reason, stall number 1 door is never open. I don't think management wants us to use that one. There is a sign on the inside that you must flush twice....once while in use and another after your done. What, "while in use"???????

Anyway, today, the exact same thing happened!!!! I was in the stall peeing, door closed and locked. This time I visually made sure the button for the lock was in. Again, a lady opens up the door on me. I kind of think it was the same lady. She gets mad at ME for not locking the door and says "Why don't you lock the door". I'm PO and say "IT IS LOCKED!". She then replies, "Apparently NOT" with a very scarcastic tone. I'm boiling by now because she is blaming me. I loudly say through the door "Why don't you try a stall that is open". Stall #1 was closed, like it always is, I was in stall # 2 and stall #3 was wide open. I come out of the bathroom to discover a lady washing her hands listening to our verbal bathroom barrage of words; I say "I'm sorry, you had to hear that". She comes to my defense and says quite loudly so that the rude lady can hear "She should have knocked at the very least or used another stall." I reiterate to the lady washing her hands that I tried to lock the door and she says loudly again, "Yeah that lock doesn't work so well."

I went back to my office with steam coming out of my ears. I think I actually could have had a showdown with the the "no-knocking lady" had I seen her face and if my pants were down by my ankles at the time. I immediately emailed my sister the story, 'cause I was PO and had to blow some steam. She told me that I should have busted the door open on her so she could see how it feels. I might just have to do that. I'll challenge her to an arm wrestling match (after she washes her hands) and then when I win, I will wash her hair in the toilet bowl. Ok, that's a little extreme.

I hate using the office bathroom, but what to do? I know I have a very short commute, but I can't justify a 20 minute bathroom break (8 min home, 4 min break, 8 min back to the office) everytime I need to "go". My "drink more water" goal doesn't help.

Suggestions?