Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Please Excuse Me

This post may have TMI! So stop right now...if you don't want to read about it.

It's a little after mid-night and I just want to crawl back in bed...but I can't. I'm currently working on flushing out my colon. Yes, how nice!

Excuse me...another bathroom break calls.

I'm writing this in between downing water containing electrolytes and making a nature call to the bathroom. Just to set the record straight, no it does not taste like gatorade rather it tastes like salt water and I'm at a point where I'm gagging every time I need to down another 8 oz of the nasty stuff. Yuch!

Today, was mentally challenging for me. No food whatsoever; I was on all liquid diet today. Last night, I went to Target and bought 10 -20 oz bottles of SoBe Lifewater (10 for $10 and you get a $5 Target Gift card). I bought all kinds of flavors. My favorites are Grape and Tangerine and my least favorite is Goji Melon. I got to say...these drinks really helped me get through the day. I was really worried

Excuse me...

As I was saying, I was really worried about getting a migraine without any food. I think I fooled my body, the SoBe Lifewater has so many vitamins in it, may be my body thought I actually ate something. I consumed 6 of the 10 bottles, and half a container each of grape and lime jello, plus 4 liters of the salt water crap. (well, almost 4 liters, I still have to consume 16 more ounces before I can go back to bed). My stomach only growled a few times today.

Excuse me....

Ugggggghhhhhhhhh! Just finished my last 8 oz! I tossed the last 8 oz down the drain. I'm not cheating, I'm just following instructions: "Your prep must be completed 6 hours prior to your procedure"

Excuse me...

I'm done with that sh*t! I think I've gone the bathroom 100 times today. I am soooooo cleaned out....in fact, I was pretty much cleaned out after the 1st half (2 liters) of the prep. It doesn't seem fair that this is probably the same amount a 200 lb man would have to consume. Shouldn't the amount depend upon your weight?

It's past 1 am now. I'm going to bed; of course not before I go the the bathroom a few more times.

Oh, in case ya'll are wondering, I'm having a colonoscopy and an endoscopy tomorrow (er, I mean today). Yes, I know TMI. Sorry.

Now if you would excuse me once again...

Part 2

It's now 2:30 pm and I just got from my nap. My procedure (it was at 7 am this morning) went really well today and I'm just glad that whole experience is over. The nurses prepped me within a half hour and then I was wheeled to the procedure room. The Doctor greeted me and the next thing you know I'm waking back up in the recovery room. Wow! I didn't even have a clue what had happened. The last time I was "put under" was back when I was a teenager and got my wisdom teeth pulled.

Other than being completely tired and groggy with a slight sore throat, I was good to go. The doctor came in told me that the procedure went well. I didn't have any polyps, therefore, no cancer. Real good news. My stomach was a bit irritated with gastric juices (?)...and so he prescribed a medicine for me. I didn't even know I had a stomach issue--it's probably because of the crap I had to drink last night. Anyway, no ulcers were found so no explanation yet for my anemia. The doctor did take a biopsy of my colon to determine if I have Celiac disease.

In the meantime, he wants me to have yet another test to check my small intestine out. This means I have to swallow a pill that is actually a camera. The camera will take pics as it flows through the system. Do I have to fast for this thing now? Not sure, I was too groggy to ask.

Ed was there waiting for me and helped me to the car. I instructed him to head straight for a breakfast restaurant. Boy, it was yumming too--I had an egg spinach and mushroom skillet with a side of chocolate chip pancakes. Ahhhh, food.

1 comment:

WADDLER26.2 said...

LMAO !!!! Holy Sh##.